Part I
A Charmed Life
A life that seems to have been protected by a charm or spell.
Extremely lucky or prosperous <living a charmed life>
Webster’s Online Dictionary
I make a living sitting with people; helping them process various experiences of their lives. The number one question that comes up is “How can some people survive horribly negative experiences and remain positive people?" Actually, I think the real question they are thinking is, "How does one live through catastrophic experiences and not remain unhappy, bitter people whose whole approach to life will be forevermore reduced to virtually steering the rest of their lives from the fetal position?"
I have sometimes been dismissed, by people that really don’t know my life story, as someone that has had a “charmed life, and is therefore incapable of fathoming how someone experiences and ultimately survives decimating life events. This got me to pondering about just what having a “charmed life” meant. Truth be known, I kind of like being thought of as having a “charmed life. Who wouldn’t like the idea that some magical force was looking out for you, protecting you from all sorts of adverse experiences; kind of like having a permanent talisman in life, so to speak. Think of the risks you could take, and the possibilities that you could take advantage of, knowing that nothing bad could happen to you!
There was a Bewitched episode titled, “The No Harm Charm” in which Uncle Arthur gave Darrin the screw top of a lampshade and lead him to believe that it was a magical talisman. Darrin took remarkable risks, and experienced good fortune until he was made aware that it was just the ornamental part of his own living room lampshade.
In review of my life, I have had a number of catastrophic life events occur, so that definition of extreme good luck, doesn’t actually apply to my life; however, I remain an optimistic and positive person. Could that be the Charmed life component? Some magical event that forever made me a “glass is half-full” sort of person rather than a “I don’t have a frigging glass at all" kind of person?
I believe that I have Disney and John Kennedy, Jr., to thank for helping to shape the foundation of how I approach life.
Courage
Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope;
and the one unchangeable certainty is that
nothing is certain or unchangeable.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I was orphaned at six years of age. My parents drowned in our family swimming pool; a contributing factor being their having blood alcohol levels of approximately .40 and above in their systems. I remember waking up one morning, seeing them in the pool, and going to the edge of the pool to ask to be allowed to turn on the TV to watch cartoons. They didn’t answer me, so I went inside and woke up my older half- sister, who, being eight years older than I, immediately understood the gravity of the situation and jumped in to try to pull our parents bodies out of the pool.
Life as we both knew it ceased to exist, and I was left an orphan with PTSD.
In a heartbeat, I went from being a pampered and adored little six-year-old to becoming a burden that no one knew what to do with.
I lived with grandparents, and aunts and uncles, until I was finally adopted by my Mother’s brother, My Uncle John and his wife Opal, when I was eight-years old.
During the couple of nomad years that I spent living with various relatives, President John Kennedy was assassinated, and I watched the funeral on television. I would have preferred to watch my regular cartoon programs, but every channel was covering the horrific assassination and national funeral, and there was nothing else on television.
I ended up forming a permanent emotional connection with John- John, because he was close to my age, and was suffering the loss of his father; an almost mirror-like reflection of the grief I was experiencing in my own life.
I was profoundly affected, by the sight of him saluting the casket as the procession carrying the body of his father passed in front of him, and I made the decision be a “ soldier too” and do my best to deal with the catastrophic loss of my own family with similar dignity, grace and courage. If John-John could do it, then I could do it too.
Gratitude
Aunt Polly Harrington: Where in the world did you get that dress?
Pollyanna Whittier: It came in the missionary barrels.
Reverend Ford: Missionary barrels?
Aunt Polly Harrington: Yes, her father was a minister. As a matter of fact, he was a missionary in the British West Indies.
Pollyanna Whittier: I'm sorry about the dress, Aunt Polly. My Father said it was a size
too big, but that I should be glad it wasn't a pair of boy's trousers.
Around this same time, Disney came out with the movie “Pollyanna” which, coincidentally enough, was the story of a little, long-haired blond girl, about my age, who was orphaned and had to go to live with her Aunt Polly. Here I was, literally living the storyline of the movie, and I was introduced to the concept of the “Glad Game.”
In the movie, Pollyanna literally changed the lives of everyone that she came in contact with due to her positive outlook on life in spite of adverse life events, and I began to play the glad game in my own life.
At some point in their lives, everyone comes to a decision whether they believe that mankind is basically good or evil. The following clip from the same movie forever shaped my view of the world; a view that I hold to this day.
Although catastrophic events occurred early on in my life, the Universe gave me remarkable tools with which to cope and survive the experience.
The “Glad Game” taught me to recognize that even the darkest of experiences have absolute rays of hope; good that comes out of the ashes of negative experiences. By concentrating on the positive aspect of any circumstance, you actually recognize and go with the positive outcome because it is the focus of your attention.
I believe that having a positive outlook on life actually manifests positive outcomes in life. I trust that the Universe supports us in everything we do, and that ultimately every negative life event prepares us for something better on in life. I believe that we get what we expect, and that we attract what we put out in the world.
To Be Continued......
